Gratitude

A lot of great sobriety things have happened this last week. Mostly, I found the blogs and finally have those stories and people to check in with every day. Thanks to Belle I realised  I’d hit 500 days (I have never counted days before). I posted this milestone on Facebook and got around 50 likes and lots of well dones. A couple of people I’ve not seen for years joined in to tell me they had done a year, or a day, or in one case 12 years! These were some serious reprobates back in the day, too. I guess we are the people you better hope have sobered up by now. Anyway, it certainly warmed my cockles and brought a tear to my eye.

So I have been thinking what to blog and I decided to do some gratitude. I don’t go with AA any more, but they have a lot of stuff right. Being thankful is surely one of those things.

So:

I am grateful to AA for having so much amazing stuff in the Big Book – the sneakiness of alcohol, the impossibility of moderation, gratitude, responsibility, keeping it in the day, keeping my side of the street clean.

I am grateful to my friend, who was the first I knew who escaped and who inspires me every day, though I don’t see enough of him.

I am grateful to my first and only sponsor, for listening and believing. I couldn’t take the steps but she remains a beacon of possibility and strength.

I am grateful to another friend for being the first sober friend ‘on the outside’ and for being from the same place of loopy chaotic pursuit as I (if he can do it, so can I).

I am grateful to my amazing non alcoholic husband who can take it or leave it but mainly leaves it, without complaint, to stand by me. I might have been able to do this without him, but without the changes he has made with me, we couldn’t have done it together. My rock, my heroine, my sweetest and best friend.

And lastly for today I am grateful for all the amazing people I have found through these blogs. Hilarious, cheerful, realistic, optimistic, brave and thrilling souls that have collectively made my last week or so just that much brighter and more hopeful. I realise now I have never been alone, just hiding.

Thank you universe, you are full of shit but also diamonds! Tiaras all round!!

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